She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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