I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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