Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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