I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
