defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
