She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
