do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
