I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
