Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
