I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
