i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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