she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I deserve this hangover.
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