Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
