Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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