my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
