hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
