I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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