I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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