sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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