Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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