Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
