margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
