I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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