do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
