So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
