Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
