it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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