C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dignity is for republicans.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize