Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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