Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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