His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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