Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize