More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Randomize
