I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
