I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The best revenge is premature balding
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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