You work out of a Hotel?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
