ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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