I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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