Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
