I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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