I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
