OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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