Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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