forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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