As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
