i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
