stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
