Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
