Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
