Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
