did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
