I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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