im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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