I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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