new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
