I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
