69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
