where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
