Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
